Critter’s Gonna Critter
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TAPE 2 OF 4 · WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO RECORDS

What Are You Gonna Do

1990 · What Are You Gonna Do Records · 7 tracks

The follow-up. Same answer to every question on it.

  1. 01What Are You Gonna Do

    The Slidell show is not in the band's date book. Kowalczyk says it happened. Tran says it happened twice.

    Words, as sung
    Alternator went out on us in Slidell
    Show was at nine and it was seven when it quit
    Bobby said we are not going to make it
    I said probably not. And that was it.
    
    What are you gonna do
    That is not a question, that's the answer
    What are you gonna do
    Nothing. Same as ever.
    
    Got there at ten-forty and they let us play
    Two songs short, and the room had mostly gone
    Man behind the bar said tough break, fellas
    I said we got here. He said — yeah. You did.
    
    What are you gonna do
    That is not a question, that's the answer
    What are you gonna do
    Nothing. Same as ever.
    
    Bobby says it mad
    Mike says it flat
    Jimmy doesn't say it, he just shrugs
    And I have come around to thinking Jimmy's version is the best of that
    
    Everybody wants a word that fixes it
    Something you can say that makes it turn
    There is not one. I have looked for about a decade.
    There is just the four words, and whatever else you learn.
  2. 02Gerald (Out of the Rain)

    Gerald has never been located. The archive has made three attempts. Whitfield has asked the archive to stop.

    Words, as sung
    March of eighty-nine, a Thursday, out in Gulfport
    Two people in a room built for a hundred and some
    One of them was waiting on somebody
    She left at twenty after. He did not.
    
    He came in out of the rain — that is all it was
    Wasn't there for us. He was there for the roof.
    Sat down at the second table from the left
    And he stayed for every song. And that's the truth.
    
    Gerald. Out of the rain.
    Bought a cassette when it was done.
    Paid exact change.
    Gerald. Out of the rain.
    
    Said the bass was good. Said it just like that.
    Didn't say the songs. Didn't say the band.
    Said the bass was good, and then he left
    And I have carried it around since then.
    
    Gerald. Out of the rain.
    Bought a cassette when it was done.
    Paid exact change.
    Gerald. Out of the rain.
    
    It is my favorite show. They ask me why.
    I don't explain it and I won't begin.
    Two people in a room in Gulfport, Mississippi.
    And one of them came in.
  3. 03The Bass Was Good

    The critic is Darren Mouton, whose 1993 notice the band did not read until 2019. Whitfield has said that Mouton was more accurate and that Gerald was more use.

    Words, as sung
    Four words from a stranger in the rain
    Not a review. Not a thing he thought about.
    He was being polite on his way to the door
    And he could not have known what he was handing out.
    
    The bass was good
    That is the whole review
    Nobody ever said a smaller thing
    And nobody ever said one truer
    
    Critics didn't come. That is not a complaint.
    One drove down from Pensacola in ninety-three
    Wrote a sentence about me I did not read for years
    And I would still take Gerald's four over his twenty-three
    
    The bass was good
    That is the whole review
    Nobody ever said a smaller thing
    And nobody ever said one truer
    
    There's a kind of praise that costs the giver nothing
    And is worth more than the kind that costs a lot
    He was buttoning his coat. He was already leaving.
    He said the bass was good. And then he was gone.
  4. 04Four Hours to Play for One

    The one is Gerald. The band has never said so on record and has never denied it.

    Words, as sung
    Left Mobile at eleven in the morning
    Two hundred miles of pine and roadside church
    Loaded in at six and we sound checked at seven
    Four hours in a truck for what it's worth
    
    Four hours to play for one
    That is the arithmetic
    Four hours there and four hours home
    And I would do it all again for it
    
    Bobby did the math out loud in the parking lot
    Said this is not a living, Dale. This is a hole.
    I said I know it. He said then why.
    I said because he stayed for the whole show.
    
    Four hours to play for one
    That is the arithmetic
    Four hours there and four hours home
    And I would do it all again for it
    
    Every band I ever knew that quit
    Quit on a night the numbers did not work
    Numbers never worked. Not one time. Not ever.
    Numbers are not what the work is for.
  5. 05Rained on the Amps in Hattiesburg

    The amplifier is a 1968 Fender Twin Reverb belonging to Whitfield's father. It is described by three separate people as having sounded better afterwards. Whitfield has said it sounded louder, which is not the same thing.

    Words, as sung
    Outdoor stage in Hattiesburg in July
    Man said don't worry about it, it will not rain
    It rained. It rained about as hard as I have seen it.
    And the tarp was doing seventy percent again.
    
    Rained on the amps in Hattiesburg
    Rained on the amps, rained on the crowd
    Rained on a Twin Reverb my daddy bought in sixty-eight
    And it still works. It is just louder now.
    
    Mike unplugged the whole thing in the weather
    Which is either brave or stupid, I don't know
    Bobby stood out there with his guitar in the downpour
    Playing to a parking lot that had let go
    
    Rained on the amps in Hattiesburg
    Rained on the amps, rained on the crowd
    Rained on a Twin Reverb my daddy bought in sixty-eight
    And it still works. It is just louder now.
    
    Promoter came around and offered us a hundred
    Which was more than what the door had been that night
    I said we didn't finish. He said nobody does.
    Handed me the money and turned out all the lights.
  6. 06Cuss It or Grin It

    Tran has read this song's third verse and declined to comment on it, which Fontenot has called "the most Mike thing available."

    Words, as sung
    There are two ways down off of anything
    And the both of them will get you to the ground
    You can cuss it all the way down, hollering
    Or you can grin it on the way down
    
    Cuss it or grin it
    There's no third thing on the list
    Cuss it or grin it
    Same ditch, either way you sit
    
    Jimmy grins it. Jimmy always grinned it.
    Bobby cusses it and gets there just the same
    Mike does neither, which I've never understood
    And Mike is likely the smartest of us four
    
    Cuss it or grin it
    There's no third thing on the list
    Cuss it or grin it
    Same ditch, either way you sit
    
    I have tried them both across about a decade
    Kept a tally in my head of how it went
    Grinning does not fix a single thing
    But you get to the bottom in a better temperament.
  7. 07Road Acceptance

    The last song written for the record and the last one the four of them tracked together in a professional studio.

    Words, as sung
    Two in the morning on 98 going east
    Everybody sleeping but the one who has the wheel
    Radio is down to preachers and to static
    And I have quit pretending that I mind
    
    This is road acceptance
    Not a peace exactly. Close.
    The knowing that it is this now
    And it is this for a while more.
    
    A young man wants the road to take him somewhere
    An older man just wants the road
    There's a stretch out past Chipley where it opens
    And I have never once wished I was home
    
    This is road acceptance
    Not a peace exactly. Close.
    The knowing that it is this now
    And it is this for a while more.
    
    They will ask about the money and the crowds
    And whether it was worth it in the end
    I have got an answer and it is not a good one:
    I would get back in the truck. I would go again.